Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
