Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
