Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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