I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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