I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
