ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
