your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
