woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
