shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
