What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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