six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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