when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
