so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I die, sorry about rent.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
