Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
