i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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