I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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