You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
