the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
