ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
