I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
