I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
please come you make the beer taste better
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
