vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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