it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
