I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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