He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
