Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
