rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
