ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
