White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
