my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
