But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
