He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
