Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
