I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The adults are the big ones right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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