porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize