I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
