We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
