why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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