Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i already hear my dad disowning me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
