tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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