One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Randomize
