I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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