A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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