I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
