real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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