apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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