im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
