put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
