I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
