Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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