she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
