great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
