just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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