why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
