PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
