dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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