Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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